Reality continues to ruin my life.”
– Bill Watterson

When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?'”
– Sydney J. Harris

I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at a time.”
– Charles M. Schulz

I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.”
– Mitch Hedberg

Sometimes I’m so tired, I look down at what I’m wearing, and if it’s comfortable enough to sleep in, I don’t even make it into my pajamas. I’m looking down, and I’m like T-shirt and stretchy pants? Yup, that’s pajama-y. Good night.”
– Rebecca Romijn